Quote Me, Quote You

A lovely list of quotes and counter-quotes.

What a man can be, he must be.
- Abraham Maslow

Another dangerous quote. If a man can be the next Hitler, the next Jack the Ripper, or the greatest hired assassin ever... must he be?

No doubt, Maslow was talking about being the best we could be by living to our true potential. But I believe it would be better if we align ourselves with "good" people. It might take a bit of soul searching to find our purpose in life, and once we find it, the next step is to look for someone who can help us develop that purpose.

And hopefully, that "someone" does not belong to the dark side.


How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  
- François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Not quite accurate in my case, because I forget everything!

But I can relate with the multiple retelling part. It's quite embarrassing, especially when the person I'm talking to lets me finish the entire story - complete with all the gestures and sound effects - before informing me of my forgetfulness. It's like he's trying to catch any inconsistencies in my story.

Not big deal though, as I enjoy telling my animated stories over and over again. Have I ever told you about the time when...

Now and then, it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
- Guilliame Appolinaire, French poet


But what if it's the pursuit of happiness that actually makes us happy?


Have you ever been in a situation wherein you finally achieve your goal, a goal that you thought would make you happy? When you finally reached the finish line, and the elation quickly wore off, you probably asked yourself, "Is this all?"


Sometimes it's the thrill of the chase that pumps us up.

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one. 
- Wilhelm Stekel, physician and psychologist (1868-1940)

If somebody dies for a cause, I wouldn't call him immature, but I wouldn't call him practical either. A living human can certainly do more noble deeds than a dead one. 

Sure, a hero who nobly sacrifices his life in battle "could" spark a revolution, but what if he loses the bet? He'll just be another tick mark in the statistician's book. There won't be a second chance.

One does not need to die to make a difference. Consider a regular guy who contributes seemingly trivial efforts to a goal. He has every opportunity to improve as long as he is alive and kicking.

So if any of you is thinking that it's cool to do a suicide mission, I hope you'd reconsider.

Conscience is a dog that does not stop us from passing but that we cannot prevent from barking.
- Nicolas de Chamfort, writer (1741-1794)



And all that barking is enough to drive one crazy!
 
But what about those whose have "put their dogs to sleep", so to speak? Nothing stops them from passing, and there's no barking to speak of. They become scary people!
 
So, in order for us to not become those scary people, let's take good care of our internal guard dogs.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
- William James (1842-1910), psychologist and author

Everything I do indeed makes a difference. My question is: positive or negative?

I think Mr. James had that in mind as well. But the quote would've been uncool if he had inserted that question into the quote.

I should start making a habit of doing good deeds and choosing right over wrong. I believe that I should live as if somebody has chosen me to be his role model  (I have no idea why he would make such a decision). Like everything else in life, that somebody will make an appearance without warning, so I better be ready!

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
- Robert Orben, magician (b. 1927)

I think this is the natural progression of evolution (the survival of the fittest, if you will), wherein only the organisms that adapt to their surroundings stand a chance to continue their stay on earth.

Several centuries from now, human lungs would have built-in air filters to process the air they breathe. If we transport a present-day dude 400 years into the future, his lungs won't be able to handle the airborne toxins considered "normal" to creatures of the era.

That eerie thought reminds me of Avatar. And it reminds me why I am afraid of the idea of time travel.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Sometimes it's better to just allow a "friend" to fleece a few bucks off you than to keep him as a friend.

I just realized that I might have insulted you by explaining the obvious. I was just expressing my complete approval of such a brilliant statement.

I've had a few of those "friends". They didn't exactly disappear, but they never asked for favors again. Which was cool, because asking for my money back was (and still is) one of my major weaknesses. What's rightfully mine is often... theirs. *sob* *sniff*

It is better to give than to receive.

No, it's not!

As T Harv Eker pointed out, you can't give if nobody takes. Consequently, you can't take if nobody gives.

Either way, neither activity can exist without the other, so neither one is "better" than the other. Logical, eh?

A more precise quote (I'm not saying it's the best version) is: "It is better to be in a position to give than to hope to receive."

I need someone to protect me from all the measures they take in order to protect me.
-Banksy, street artist (b. 1974)

Banksy, were you referring to the seat belt law? Or the helmet law?

Why are lawmakers "protecting" adults from harming themselves? If a stubborn motorist refuses to fasten his seat belt and unfortunately gets involved in a vehicular accident, he only harms himself.

I believe it would be better if laws place more emphasis on protecting those who are not in a position to protect themselves. Like babies. I am completely in favor of requiring parents and guardians to install all the necessary safety gear for babies because they can't protect themselves, and they had no free will to say no to the trip in the first place.

Also, if we are truly concerned about protecting them, why is there no law that bans cigarette smoking within 20 feet of babies? Their fragile lungs are not ready for toxic second-hand smoke.

I'm with Banksy on this. Protect me from others, but there's no need to protect me from myself.

Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in the jeans.


Man, this quote reminded me of the time I gave in to gluttony and ate slabs of this interesting fish called gindara. I'm not sure if that's the fish's official name, but it was listed on the menu. Anyway, it tasted great, but little did I know that the blasted thing possessed mysterious powers.

I originally thought of sharing the stinky details but realized it would be more prudent to do otherwise. Cutting through the chase, gindara "captures" fatty oil inside your digestive system and expels it via your, uhm, rear end. Since you're dealing with oil, it's not easy to keep it inside. It will seek out every opportunity to escape. The result? Oily poop that demands immediate attention every few hours.  And even worse, oily flatulence! What you think is harmless gas is actually smelly oil eager to burst out to greet the world... and stain your undies in the process. And you know how easy it is to wash off oil on cloth... it won't go away without a fight!

So, remember the name: gindara. It won't kill you, but you'll die of embarrassment. You have been warned.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a lot like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are vegetarian.

I think this is in line with the question: Why do bad things happen to good people? The answer to which is: Because that's the way the world works.

But, lest we forget, good things also happen to good people. Hooray for that! Bad things happen to bad people, although not as often as we expect. And, surprise! Good things also happen to same bad people.

So, if we cancel out the common factors, we're left with: Things happen to people. That explains everything!

By the way, if you're a vegetarian and you taunt a bull in your red pajamas, you probably deserve to be attacked.

When wisdom meets habit, bet on habit. 
- Blair Warren

This quote frightened me more than all nine Nightmare on Elm Street movies combined!

My above-average wisdom (modesty is not my best trait, obviously) is no match for my long list of bad habits. So if this trend continues, I'll be in deep trouble.

A friend once told me that it would be very difficult to break a bad habit. The best approach is to find a good habit to replace the bad. That sounds logical. Evidently, his wisdom is greater than mine.

Of course, if you have a positive habit like saying "Thank you" immediately and sincerely to everyone who deserves it, then by all means, keep that habit!

I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness

I guess there's no need to further express how taxing (I was trying to avoid the words frustrating, irritating, and annoying) it is for untrained eyes to decode the stereotypical doctor's penmanship.

Instead, I would like to focus on the amount of time the quote author had in his hands. He/She carefully chose the words such that each succeeding word is exactly one letter longer than the previous.

Maybe I'm just assuming that it took the person quite a bit of time to come up with that intricate sentence. For all we know, he/she might have composed it in less time than it takes you to brush your teeth.


And I bet some of you will even take time off your busy schedules to verify the count, with hopes of discovering an error. I know because that was exactly what I did.

Work expands to fill the time alloted.
- Parkinson's Law


I plead guilty! Give me 10 days to complete a 5-hour task, and I'll probably finish it in 245 hours, because I will ask, or rather, beg for a 5-hour extension.

Lazy bones need help!

Be careful what you say to yourself. You're listening.
- Devin Hastings

I keep saying that I'm forgetful, that I have a problem with tardiness, that I'm a lazy procrastinator.

Well, I guess I've been hearing and believing myself all along. 

Wait, I had a brilliant idea, but it slipped my mind. I'll think about it tomorrow.

Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.

This is quite timely (and timeless). In the age of Facebook and mobile Tweets, anything you say can and will be used against you.

I've had my share of stints at the word buffet. I was forced to swallow bitter phrases and sour quips. The tough part was, there's always a "No Leftovers" rule.

If you know who uttered these words, please send me a note so I could give him or her full credit. Thanks in advance!

Do unto others what they want done unto them.

Okay, that was a poorly paraphrased version of Tony Alessandra's Platinum Rule, wherein we "Treat others the way they want to be treated." The other rule, the Golden version, suggests that we assume that others want the same things we do. Notice how much cooler Tony's version is?

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese
.

This is my favorite line to justify my avoidance of early morning activities. I'm not a morning person at all. Unfortunately, most people equate late-risers as lazy bums. Maybe that's actually true in my case, but when I use this quote, those morning people couldn't come up with a wittier retort.